This is me, eh? One of the guys here...Coop...lended me his laptop. You would be surprised how many of the reglars here at the jail have them things now. You don't really rate no more behind bars unlest you are online, eh? Coop warned me not to get no virusses on this thing by goin' to the wrong sites and downloadin' bad stuff, so I have been stayin' away from doin' that and just lookin' at the usewal pickchures and videos which I figger is safe. It's kinda like usin' one of them condimins, eh?

Anyways, what we got here is a flippin' seryouus case of INjustise! It was April first, eh? Everybuddy knows that the usewal stuff don't count fer nothin' on April 1 becoz it is April Fools Day fer flip's sake! NObody robs a bank on April Fools Day coz it would not be right to do that. On other days okay...but NOT on April Fools Day and not on Christmas! All hardened crinimals are agreed that that is just the way it is. Not even flippin' Dillinjer would rob a flippin' bank on Christmas or April Fools Day, know'm sayin'?

So how come these fliphead cops would arrest me for playin' a harmless little joke that is in toon with the flippin' season and only to cheer ppeeple up?

It is not fair! I am gonna find me a public defender that has some balls and I will sue the flippin' OPP for alls they got and then some! I been falsly arrrested here and I want flippin' justiss! They also flippin' put a hammerlock on me when I wasn't even flippin' fightin' back or nothin' and now my neck hurts, eh? That is police brutality! The worst one is that crazy fliphead pig Officer Walsh who is a total flippin' jerk with a real bad attitude. He thinks he is Clint Flippin' Eastwood, wavin' his gun around and thtretening innoscent peeople. He should be flippin' throwed off the force. I will not flippin' reast untill that bolthead is put behind bars and made to pay for ruinin' my day.

- Shane