Dear Mr. McBride,

I believe that my ancestors carried off some McBride women back around 850 A.D. Family tradition says that we had to sell them as bait because they were useless for any other purpose, and then they drove the fish away rather than attract them. Of course, the other loot made up for the loss we took on the wenches, but every commercial enterprise carries certain risks.

As for apologizing, I see no reason to apologize for the truth. Shame is a disgrace to disgraces who doesn't have the sense to pound sand down a rathole, more especially since he'd try to do it from the inside. If he ever did beat ups omeone it was probably to take their candy or lunch money, which I understand he still does.

I'm certain that he has at least one good point. Fortunately, his hat covers it.

Sincerely yours,
Rapparee