DrugCrazed, I've seen many 'cool kids' over the years, and 1) They aren't as cool inside as one might think and 1) They aren't terribly nice people as they've had it all their own way, and lack insight and compassion, two very important qualities.
Having been a timid and deferential type as a youngster, I found that getting to know and caring about oneself is quite helpful. By that I mean learning what you like, what gives you pleasure, what makes you happy, and then trying very hard to give yourself those things, telling yourself you are worthy of it. It also means learning to say "NO" when people try to use you. I hope you don't feel I'm patronising you, I'm quite an old woman and have seen all sorts of personalities over the decades, including damaged and fearful ones. I so much wish you well and hope you can realise how worthwhile and important you are. Eliza