The words as they were sung by MY saited grandmother:

Oh, my grandmother she, at the age of eighty-three,
One day in May took very sick an died.
And when she was dead,
Her will, of course, was read.
As the lawyer spoke we all stood by his side.

Refrain:

How they titter-tittered, how they chaffed,
How me brother and me sister laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
Grandma's only left to you her old arm chair.

When you settle down to life,
Find some girl to be your wife,
You'll find it might handy, I declare,
To be seated in an old arm chair.

(Refrain)

Well, one night the chair fell down,
and when I looked around I found,
The seat had fallen out upon the floor.
And much to my surprise, I saw before my eyes,
A note for ten-thousand pounds or more!

(Refrain)

When my brother heard of this,
The fellow I confess,
Was filled with rage and nearly tore his hair.
I merely turned to him,
And said unto him, "Jim,
Don't you wish you had the old arm chair?"

(Refrain)