You can hear the following recording at The Internet Archive. I have boldfaced the words that are different from Jerry Rasmussen's version above.


WAY OUT WEST IN KANSAS
As recorded by Billy Murray & Ed Smalle, Victor 19442, 1924.

Folks don't stay out very late,
    Way out west in Kansas.
They take the sidewalks in at eight,
    Way out west in Kansas.
It's some town, by heck, I'll swear.
You can stand in the old town square
And knock on ev'ry front door there,
    Way out west in Kansas.

I know a man that loves his wife,
    Way out west in Kansas.
They must live a peaceful life,
    Way out west in Kansas.
There's a reason why each night
They hold each other's hands so tight.
If one turns loose, they'll start to fight,
    Way out west in Kansas.

There's a man that grew so tall,
    Way out west in Kansas,
If he'd ever start to fall,
    He'd be out of Kansas.
If he was straight, I still repeat,
He'd be as long as our Main Street.
There's a lot of him turned up for feet,
    Way out west in Kansas.

There's a gal in Abilene,
    Way out west in Kansas,
Says she just turned seventeen,
    Way out west in Kansas.
Folks all say she built the town.
She's so old she's muscle-bound,
So they turned the seventeen around,
    Way out west in Kansas.

Sun's so hot that eggs will hatch,
    Way out west in Kansas.
It pops the corn in the popcorn patch,
    Way out west in Kansas.
An old mule coming down the path
Saw the corn and lost his breath.
He thought 'twas snow and froze to death,
    Way out west in Kansas.

There's a man named Cross-Eyed Pat,
    Way out west in Kansas.
You can't tell who he's lookin' at,
    Way out west in Kansas.
He cries because he's such a wreck,
And the tears run down the back of his neck.
He don't look straight to me, by heck,
    Way out west in Kansas.