Unless it's a very large church, the proper solution is to obtain a very large amplifier (box size, not necessarily power) and at least a couple of enormous speakers, and place them prominently where they can be seen by everyone.

It may help if they're ugly.

The amplifier must be modified by opening the box and disconnecting the power lead (inside the box) so that NO POWER can ever be supplied to anything connected to it.

Next you need a small voltmeter mounted conspicuously on the amplifier, and a small (micropower) "random sinewave generator" to connect to the voltmeter so that the needle will move around a bit.

Tell everyone it was very expensive, and sit back to wait for them to congratulate you on your technical accomplishment and how much better the sound is.

(Every guy over 40 knows that the best cure for the "hot flashes" is to disconnect the thermostat.)

Of course I'm kidding. ... ... ... maybe.

John