You're speaking of 2 common levels of the mind-constructed personality, Eliza...the outer polite "varnish", so to speak that one presents as an agreeable public role...and the raw unvarnished, rather savage ego that lies beneath it, which is the private role...but they're still both a form of personality role-playing. One is public. The other's private. One performs on the public stage. The other performs on the inner stage of one's own mind. The private one, usually hidden from most people, tends to come out much more openly within families, as near relatives are often a lot meaner to one another than they would dare to be with most strangers! This is because they figure their relative already KNOW the ugly "truth" about them...or have ALREADY judged them as severely lacking anyway, therefore they've got nothing left to lose by not going to much trouble to hide their real feelings...though they'll usually still hide the worst level! Too much risk there.

What I was suggesting, though, was to go deeper than both of those roles. I was suggesting to go to the level that preceded the very building of those roles, and that will outlive them. That level doesn't attack anyone, seek strife or condemn. But most people don't believe in it. They don't even know it exists, because they've never consciously acknowledged it. They have been entirely focused and absorbed upon building a mind-constructed personality (both public and private), maintaining it, and defending it. And that makes them quite defensive in their nature.

Yes, some personalities (the healthier ones) are far more inclined to see the good in others than the more negative personalities are. If so, as you say, they will tend to find other people interesting and stimulating. That's all to the good. A really negative personality will tend to find other people uninteresting, boring, frustrating, irritating, depressing, threatening, bothersome....even quite frightening in extreme cases.

At the most extreme level that can result in mental illness and violent crime.