The original recording covered both sides of a 78-rpm record. The lyrics given above by Joe Offer and by Snuffy come from Part 1. You can hear both parts (sides) at YouTube. Note that it really needs both parts to be complete, since it starts with "Last night I dreamt..." and ends with him waking up.


AIN'T IT GRAND TO BE BLOOMING WELL DEAD, Part 2
Words and music by Leslie Sarony, ©1932.
As sung by Leslie Sarony, 1932.

OTHER VOICES: Where oh where has our Leslie gone?
Oh where oh where can he be?
He promised to be on the other side.
Ha-ha, ho-ho, hee-hee!

LESLIE: I've got me eye on ya! You're the blokes that told me to learn to play the bloomin' 'arp. I 'aven't played a bloomin' note since I've been 'ere.

Look at the florists countin' their profits.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at the lawyers readin' the will out.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
Taxes an' rent I'll 'ave no need to pay.
I've dodged 'em by bloomin' well snuffin' it. Hooray!
Look at the landlord, bloomin' ol' shylock!
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!

Look at the bulldog (arf!) bloomin' well barkin'.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at the tomcat (meow!) bloomin' well flirtin'.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
People said 'e was so good to the poor.
I said as I thought what they called me before:
Look at the sexton. Bloomin' great shovel!
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!

Look at me schoolmates bloomin' well gigglin'!
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at the earthworms bloomin' well wrigglin'!
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
All my old Chinas* I saw them standin' round.
I said as they slowly lowered me in the ground:
Look at the tombstones, granite with knobs on.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!

Now it's all over. Look at them scarpering.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at the weather bloomin' well raining.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!
Then I awoke with a really shocking start.
I found me in bed with the missus of me 'eart.
I got the milk in. Baby was screaming.
Ain't it grand to be bloomin' well dead!

[* Chinas = China plates = mates (I think)]