"The Late Osama"

After dying a grisly death in a fire fight, Osama
made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was
greeted by George Washington. "How dare you
attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled
Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up from behind, "You wanted
to end the American's liberty, so they gave you
death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

James Madison came next and said, "This is why I
allowed the government to provide for the common
defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked
Osama's knees.

Osama was subject to similar beatings from John
Randolph, James Monroe and 67 other people who
had the same love for liberty and America. As he
writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him
back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot
destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was
promised!"

An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72
Virginians waiting for you. What did you think
I said?"


-----


"American Holiday"

Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned
about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about
the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently
reaching into the realm of the future, she finds the
answer.

"You will die on an American holiday."

"Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously.

"It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever
you die, it will be an American holiday!"