You can hear this song at The Internet Archive or YouTube. (The YouTube version is clearer. It's the second of 2 songs in that "video.") Here's my transcription:

[I despaired of labelling the parts with the conventional terms verse, chorus, and bridge, so I used A, B, and C.]


TEAS, LIGHT REFRESHMENTS AND MINERALS
Words and music by Leslie Sarony
As sung by The Two Leslies [Leslie Sarony and Leslie Holmes], 1934.

[A] I've wandered through Somerset, Devon and Cornwall.
I love them, I do.
Through Norfolk and Suffolk, through Hampshire and Dorset
And Cumberland, too;
But every time I emerge from a byway,
I meet with this slogan on every highway:

[B] "Teas, light refreshments and minerals,
Minerals, minerals."
On each cottage wall as through Britain you roam,
You'll find these few words to remind you of home:
"Teas, light refreshments and minerals."
Now doesn't that act like a charm?

[C] The jolly old farmer you once used to know
Has no time to plough or to reap or to sow,
But he reaps a good harvest as John Giles and Co. [pronounced "coe"]
With teas, light refreshments and minerals.

[C] You travel by train when the weather's unkind.
The scenery's changed; you can't call it to mind,
So you look for the name of the station and find
It's "Teas, Light Refreshments and Minerals."

[A] You're hot and perspiring. Good ale you're requiring
With nice bread and cheese.
In tones most appalling, the landlord is calling,
"Time, gentlemen, please!"
But neat little tables are daintily laid in
The garden where he does a flourishing trade in—

[B] Teas, light refreshments and minerals,
Minerals, minerals.
On each cottage wall as through Britain you roam,
You'll find these few words to remind you of home:
"Teas, light refreshments and minerals."
Now doesn't that act like a charm?

[C] I once knew a flapper, a bit of a tease.
She'd tease all the fellows who wanted a squeeze,
And when there wasn't anything else she could tease,
She would tease "light refreshments and minerals."

[C] At the race meetings, gypsies pay very large rents
For spots near the races where they pitch their tents,
For they love to accommodate ladies and gents
With teas, light refreshments and minerals.

[Last part of B] "Teas, light refreshments and minerals."
Now doesn't that act like a charm?

[C] This slogan's become an obsession with me.
When my wife had triplets, I hollered, "What? Three!"
When she said, "What d'you think that their names ought to be?"
I said, "Teas, Light Refreshments and Minerals."