I bought myself a horse and cart from my friend Mr Moore. I thought I'd go in business as a trav'ling gen'ral store. I dealt in almost ev'rything from artichokes to hay. I'd knock upon the door and then I'd most politely say:
"Good morning, Mrs Cokestoke! You want any coals today? I've got some lovely kitchen nuts, I'm very pleased to say." She answered, "You can keep your nuts. My cellar's full already, So shut the gate." "Bother the gate! Gee up, Neddy."
"Good morning, Mrs Pigstride! You want any pork today? I've got some lovely pickled stuff, I'm very pleased to say." She says, "My husband's in the house. I've got one pig already, So shut the gate." "Bother the gate! Gee up, Neddy."
I haven't had a customer since I've been on the road. I'm like a trav'ling Selfridge's with such a lovely load. I keep on shutting blessed gates as I go on my way. I'd like to shut them all in gale(?), but I politely say:
"Good morning, Mrs Toadstool! Do you want any frogs today? I've got some here all full of hops. You ought to see them play." She said, "I've seen enough of hops. My husband's drunk already, So shut the gate." "Bother the gate! Gee up, Neddy."
"Good morning, Mrs Dingdong! Do you want any songs today? I've got some really snappy ones, for you I'd like to play." She said, "No, thanks, but when I sing, the raspberries come steady, So shut the gate." "Bother the gate! Gee up, Neddy."
"Good morning, Mrs Fleashutch! Have you got any rooms today? I've heard about your boarding house. I think I'd like to stay." She answered, "All the big bugs are staying here already, So shut the gate." "Bother the gate! Gee up, Neddy."