My dog has no balls, being a jaffa and all that.

yet amazingly, he has started to lick where they used to be!

He must have been raptured (and got his balls back) and then God found out he fell in the pond the other day after I told him to stop drinking from it, and God agreed with me that he is a naughty greyhound and so forfeits his right to be raptured.

Still, think of the saving in dog food if God had used his infinite wisdom and forgave him?

Sorry to hear about your dog. After a short time, get another. They are an addictive drug, but the only way to get over a dog is to get another.