A couple of Bernard Wrigley songs spring to mind as fitting this thread. I used to sing them both, although for the life of me I can't remember all the words now.

You're the Teabag in my Coffee

My Dear Own Yorkshire Lass

Both are from the album featuring "Robin Hood and the Bogey Rolling Contest."

"Her bust is a good hundred inches, the same as her lovely round hips,
But if she gets on top when we get into bed, I'll come through the mattress like chips."

etc