I am reminded of the letter-to-advice from James Thurber, where they write in that they don't know what kind of dog they have, it only has two poses, one facing each direction, and James Thurber answers that it is probably a cast-iron lawn dog, and an acetylene torch would tell - "if the animal chips, or melts, my diagnosis is correct" (from the same collection as the Unicorn in the Garden, I think).