Re Maids when you're young- just found it here:

http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3003&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+mudcat2+%28mudcat.org+RSS+Feed%29

The version I have from Sam Larner is slightly different so here it is anyway:

MAIDS WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG NEVER WED AN OLD MAN

An old man came courting me, hey ding doorum down               
An old man came courting me, hey duram down.
An old man came courting me, fain would he marry me
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

For he's got no faloorum, falliddle ay oorum
For he's got no faloorum, falliddle ol day
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
So maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to the church, hey ding doorum down
When we went to the church, hey duram down.
When we went to the church, he left me in the lurch
Maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to our bed, hey ding doorum dah
Now when we went to our bed, hey duram down.
When we went to our bed, he neither done nor said
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

Now when he went to sleep, hey ding doorum dah
Now when we went to sleep, hey duram down.
When we went to sleep, out of bed I did creep
Into the arms of a jolly young man

And I found his faloorum, falliddle ay oorum
I found his faloorum, falliddle ol day
I found his faloorum, he got my dingdoorum
So maids when you're young never wed an old man.

Alternative ending (Julian Flood)

Now he's got Viagra, hey ding doorum dah,
He's got Viagra, hey duram down;
When he takes Viag-a-ra he comes like Niagara,
Maids when you're young you can wed an old man.

He found his faloorum etc