The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3171621
Posted By: Rapparee
16-Jun-11 - 03:37 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
There are two types of spontaneous amputation. One is caused by an untreated pathological condition, such as diabetes or gangrene. In fact a case of spontaneous gangrenous amputation in New York City was reported in a recent issue of the Archives of Surgery; it was notable because the condition had remained unreported and untreated for six months in a large city.1

However another class of spontaneous amputation (called "sponamp" by the medical profession) has long been recognized but, like the proverbial "crazy Uncle Harry" has not been discussed or studied. This type (which has two sub-types) occurs in otherwise healthy people and until recently, as noted above, was neither studied nor discussed. The June issue of Zeitung der seltsamen medizinischen Studien has changed all that.

The first type of sponamp (or "Type I") was long considered to be caused by evil spirits or demonic possession. Studies at the Frankfurt-Hochschule der unverschämten medizinischen Studien have taken another look at these assumption and have found that sponamp is probably an auto-immune reponse. In simplified terms, the body "casts away" a part to which it has become allergic. No body part seems exempt, and in one case reported from an unnamed beach in France an umbilicus, propelled by an overabundance of flatulence, struck and killed a seagull over 100 meters distant. A genetic component is suspected and research is on-going.

Type II sponamp has a different cause. Type II seems to be the body's reaction of shame and disgust. In Type II, the part falls away because its actions have caused the rest of the body to reject it because of something it has done. This is sometimes called the "If You Don't Stop Doing That It Will Fall Off" type. In t the majority of cases the body part involved is the brain, followed by the mouth and lips. This seems to be particularly endemic among politicians and members of the media.

Types I and II sponamp are now thought to be far more common than previously suspected, primarily due to sociocultural factors such as the wearing of clothing.

Investigations continue at medical schools and research centers around the world.

1. Oh, go look up the references yourself!