...it frames your own emotional state as being more important than the other person's actual experience.

Yes!

But I've never seen anyone actually ask to be pitied...

I have a certain relative who doesn't outright ask for it, but sure lays on the pity party and expects consolation. They have finally learned the rest of us won't participate and they are actually doing much better.:-)

I am sure you will come up with some way to convey Keller's thoughts on the subject. Yes, words were so much more in fashion. I have my granddad's old dictionary set: four "tomes" each one 3.5" thick and 12" tall. Lots of old words lost for lack of popular use.