From Howie Newman's web site:


ASTROTURF
Words and music by Howie Newman
©2001 Howie Newman. Chin Music (BMI).

Now we've got artificial flavors and artificial snow,
Imitation mayonnaise, false teeth, and you know ,
You've got artificial colors in your food and for your hair,
But that artificial grass is just too much for me to bear.

If Abner Doubleday was alive, he'd be aghast
If he went into a baseball game and didn't see no grass,
Just a big green carpet with some fancy white lines,
A little bit of dirt and those metric signs.

Astroturf, Astroturf.
What have they done with ol' mother earth?
I don't want nothin' 'neath my feet that a horse can't eat,
So take it away.

It all began in Houston where they play the game indoors.
They built a big domed stadium, but one of its flaws
Was the grass just wouldn't grow where the sun refused to shine,
So they ripped it out and put in the artificial kind.


[From Howie Newman's album "Baseball's Greatest Hits" (2003).]