The Crimson Pirates turned the barrel joke into a song, lyrics (I believe) by Don Kilcoyne:

The Barrel

"Permission, sir, to come aboard." "Tis granted, come up, lad
And welcome to the Crimson Tide, you look just like your dad!"
"He sends regards, he sends his son to follow him to sea
And he asked about the barrel -- is that something I could see?"

"You've heard about the barrel, boy, in every port it's told
How sailors on the Crimson Tide fight loneliness and cold.
Just step up to our pride and joy and raise your mast on high
Now slide your dinghy into port -- a moment now -- " "Oh, my!"

Just step up to the barrel
Just step up to the barrel
Oh, in the end, it's your best friend
When you step up to the barrel

Though just a lad, he'd been around and had his lady friends
But his knees went weak, his eyes went crossed, he thought his life would end
He'd left on shore a lady fair, the sweet and lovely Carol
But nothing that she'd done to him could come close to the barrel

Could come close to the barrel
Could come close to the barrel
Oh, every day you can have your way
If you come close to the barrel

"So this is what Dad whispered of when he was drinking porter
No wonder he got giggles from the landlord's lovely daughter
A sailor's life is not so hard, I won't be missing Carol
Whenever I get lonely, I'll just step up to the barrel!"

Just step up to the barrel
Just step up to the barrel
When in your bones, you feel alone
Just step up to the barrel

"There one thing I must warn you of: you don't have use on Sunday
For six whole days, you can have your fun, you only give up one day."
"Of course -- that's when I go to church, and sing my hymns and carols."
"I'm sorry, son, you've got me wrong -- that's your day in the barrel!"

That's your day in the barrel
That's your day in the barrel
Enjoy it now, but on the seventh day,
That's your day in the barrel

That's your day in the barrel
That's your day in the barrel
Plug away, but on the seventh day,
That's your day in the barrel


The Barrel at the NY Renfaire, 2008. Don sings the captain's part.