The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3183523
Posted By: Rapparee
07-Jul-11 - 10:42 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
This came to me and I post it in memory of gnu. I mean, I dedicate it to him.

Oh, this is about the norm over here...

When we got to Kabul International Airport (that was strictly used by military and contractor personnel), enroute to Kandahar on a C-17 military cargo plane to get our posting assignments, the folks running airport screening (whatever country's military that was on duty that day) made about 100 of us U.S. Soldiers go through the same screening that the TSA gives. Keep in mind that we are coming INTO theater, which means that we had our armored vests, helmets, weapons WITH ammo, FULL magazines, and bags of yet more combat equipment.

They told us that we would have to remove all of our gear, shoes, belts, and empty our pockets (placing contents into the little Tupperware dish) and place it on the X-ray conveyor to be x-rayed, weapons and all. As an MP, I have an M4 assault rifle, and a Beretta M9 pistol. Of course, being as sarcastic as I am, I couldn't help but say to the guys running the X-ray, "There are a couple items in there that MIGHT look JUST LIKE a couple of guns, just sayin'." They gave me dumb looks. Having taken my boots, dog tags, and belt off, I was giving myself a once over pocket check, to make sure that I didn't forget anything. I found a loose rifle round in my pocket (that I had found on the ground outside), crap! So I quickly threw it in my helmet that was still exposed on the conveyor, because the little dish had already made it in to the machine. I walked through the metal detector without incident, and came out the other side. The X-ray clowns were staring intently at the screen, like bomb dogs looking for that faint whiff of hydrocarbons. All of my gear, 2 weapons, 14 magazines fully loaded with 5.56mm ammo, and 3 pistol mags loaded with 9mm ammo comes out on the other end of the box, having been THOROUGHLY scrutinized. One of the clowns reaches into my helmet, pulls that loose round out, holds it up like a 5 year old on an Easter egg hunt that found the Golden Egg, and loudly proclaims "AH HA!!!" I snatched it out of his hand and asked him if he missed the other 465 in the magazines. I gathered my belongings and got as far away from those clowns as I could, as I tried to put my boots on while walking.

When we were all finally though the security station, and in the sterile & secure room to await boarding, there was talk of those clowns trying to take the pocket knives of some of the soldiers. What did they think we were going to do, take over a U.S. Military plane?? We ARE the U. S. Military, damn fools!!!

Idiots at their finest...

Paul J. Davis

Yes, it comes from a source I trust.