This is NOT the song that was requested, but it's interesting nonetheless, so I transcribed it.


THAT'S THE REASON NOO I WEAR THE KILT
As sung by Andy Stewart

1. Some people try to say the kilt is not the thing to wear.
In fact, they say the kilt is out of date,
But I've got special reasons for wearing mine, and so
I'll tell you if you'll only care to wait.
I used to wear a pair o breeks before I took a wife,
But after I'd been wed a week or three,
I sold my troosers but the kilt; the reason is because
I'll explain it if you'll listen now to me.

CHORUS: Every nicht I used to hang ma troosers up at the back of the bedroom door.
I rue the day; Ah must ha been a jay.
I'll never hang them up any more,
Because ma wife she used to ramble through ma butchers
When I was fast asleep beneath the clothes,
And in the mornin' when I woke, I was always stony broke,
And that's the reason noo I wear the kilt.

2. I never would ha found her out, but one night I come home.
I was feelin' very queer about the heid—head.
I was soon in the land o dreams, but woke at three a.m.
To see my wife a-standing up in bed.
She said, "I ... burglars; do not make a noise!
I'm lookin' through yer brooches for a gun."
I don't know what she was at, noo, but all I know was this:
There was naething in the butchers when she'd done. CHORUS TWICE


[I don't get it. Now that he wears the kilt, where does he keep his money? In a sporran, I suppose. But can't she rob the sporran just as easily as his trousers?]