What a lot of great advice. Wise people. Trust your instincts, Gnu, and like everyone has said, be there and speak your truth with love.

It's different when you're used to working alongside someone and now he barely has the energy to sit and stand. A change in how we express friendship is one of the hardest things to figure out in life. Partly that's because few of us truly want to embrace change. It's also partly because there aren't the social norms to guide friendship as there are for other relationships, like parent-child or spouse-spouse; even when we choose to buck those norms still have the guidepost-rules for context.

For me one of the hard things about 'just being there' was the smell. I have a very astute sense of smell and the smell of cancer bowls me over. I sort of got used to it but not really; it took a lot of my energy to be with the smell.

When the time comes that he IS dying--keeping in mind that it's totally true what's been said about chemo kicking worse than cancer, being why some people choose to let the cancer run its course--it might help to give permission to die, letting him know you don't wish for the final good-bye but when it's time you don't want him to hang on for your sake.

Let's hope that day is a long way off yet.

Here's a hug for both of you...