My son was 18. and had a girlfriend who was 15 years old. He was immature at the time, and had several girlfriends who were younger than he was.

I wish I could remember exactly what happened, but somehow my son used me to be the intermediary for sending a message to his girlfriend - he did it in some way that made it almost impossible for me to avoid reading what he was saying to her, and part of it was that he was having sex with her - which is statutory rape in California, a legal adult having sex with a legal minor. It seemed to me that he wanted me to see that message.

So, I told him gently that I had seen the message, and that I wanted him to know that having sex with a minor three years younger than he was, could get him in a lot of trouble. I also made sure he knew about using condoms. That's about all I said, and he seemed to appreciate that.

Dan, I wonder if this young couple did what they did in plain sight, because they wanted somebody to see them and talk to them. In matters like this, talking can be just what the kids want, especially if it's done without an air of condemnation - but I'd talk to the kids themselves, not their parents. The parents might freak out.

I think 15 or 16 is pretty young for sex.


-Joe-