Tony Bennett was also a master of boredom. Likewise Frank Sinatra, Dino the Wino, Matt Monroe. Mel Torme could do it now and again, and, oddly, Clinton Ford (but not often). Sammy Davis Junior could spark a bit. Now Miriam Makeba could certainly do it.

It's just so hard to be exciting doing middle of the road jazz schmooze. Dixie makes nice easy listening, and the modern random noise jazz can be exciting if you can be bothered to concentrate hard enough.

And I haven't felt an irrepressible urge to insult you one, yet.