'Who is this character "Jack?"' asked the Omniscient Narrator and what the fuck! is he doing in my fucking story? Story! Story? Why don't I know that already? Am I nothing but a limited first person? I could at least switch to third person to give myself a patina of authority.

And he did.

"What will is be Sam? The usual? Double double?" She asked?
"Yeah. Double double."

Kenya and Brazil tumbling hot and oily into white styrofoam. Hot sweat and machete distilled and refined, one lump then two. Mechanical suction until teats are dry, long gray highway to pasteurization one squirt then two.

"Tim Horton's coffee is so sexy." She cooed.
"Yep." Said Sam."
"Are you going to roll the rim Sammy?"
"I think I'll wait. Delayed gratification is the best."
"You can roll up my rim any time Sammy."
"I like your rim just the way it is."
"Yeah, it is better this way."
"That's what SHE said!"
"She was right."
"Yes. Yes she was."