Amos stares fondly at the picture of Glenda next to the hand lotion on his night stand. The there are crusty Kleenexes everywhere.

"Damned cold! I wish I could stop blowing my nose." looking down at the dry weathered lunar landscape that had once been his smooth pink guitar calloused hands he thinks that he needs to moisturize again.

He wonders for the millionth time how he could have fallen for Glenda how does one notice one well disguised Adam's apple when all the other parts are perfect.

He picks up the picture frame and smashes it on the table. "How could you?" he screams. How could you do this.

The image of Glenda starts to talk to him as only it could where the the character's mental illness is obvious and the author's excused as 'art.'

"Amos my love, I didn't do it. It was someone else."
"But who? How?"
"Amos my love. I have been usurped!"
"No you have been castrated"
"ME too!" Squeaked in the wizard action figure on the shelf between the Teribus the Troll doll and the Rick Fielding bobble head!
"Stop being rude Wizard!" Admonished Amos from his position of moral authority. "Hey didn't your voice used to be lower?
"That's what I am talking about!"
"Ohhhhh Dude! that's cooold! Who would do such a thing?!"
"You know who."
They all look up.
"Yeah, It was me."
"Omniscient Narrator!" Amos, Glenda, Wizard, Rick and Teribus exclaim!
Why are you all acting so surprised? You invoked me!
"Awkward exposition." Amos, Glenda, Wizard, Rick and Teribus say in unison. This section of the story is based upon the works of Kevin Smith. You know, the Auteur behind such classics as "Mall Rats" and "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"
"I know who Kevin Smith is. You know I have often wondered, is it clumsy writing or is it something he has to do so that his weed addled audiences can nap through random parts of his films and still have half a clue what is going on."
A magazine on the table, "Sing Out or Shut the Fuck Up The Monthly Magazine for Politically Active Songwriters" magically opens to a page featuring a picture of Kevin Smith and the headline. 'This bit is a nod to Woody Allen.'
Smith fidgets a little considering. He contemplates whether such a question is worthy of response. His whole body of work flashes before his eyes, seeing some exceptions, but none he has written himself as sighs "Yes."

Then Smith looks at Amos and Glenda and the castrated wizards. He gathers himself for one of those long winded lecturing cameos he sometimes does as Silent Bob in his own movies. If fact, he dons the black trench coat grows the required facial hair to become Silent Bob.

"Yes Omniscient Narrator has castrated you Glenda and you too little Wiz. And Amos, he's screwed with your love life and displayed total ignorance of your virile and ebullient ultra heterosexual masculinity. And Teribus he's made you into a troll! Obviously the truth of your characters is the polar opposite of the Van Goghian, Daliesque costumes he has made you wear.
By the way Rick, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Croce want to jam tonight. Its at Little John Cameron's Pub of Eternal Guiness. Don't look so jealous Amos. You'll get there soon enough.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Well the Omniscient Narrator isn't such a bad guy. He's just kidding and he is cloaking it all in dream sequences. So all you have to do is have your characters wake up.
Close the page will you? I'm working on a fantasy movie. Its a world where Woody Allen can have a healthy, normal sexual relationship with any living being and where Jerry Seinfeld doesn't complain. I am going to have to eat a lot of mushrooms to envision that reality. Robin Williams is signed on to play Allen and Travolta as Seinfeld. They will take any roles with pay checks after "old dogs."