"The last one was a few years back - an American Witch who accused me (in no uncertain terms) of raping the Sheela-na-Gig on Kilpeck Church with my camcorder - of using it for pornographic gratification!"

Haha! Seems your Starhawk fundamentalist rather missed the point of Sheila's lewd exhibitionism! Next time just tell them that it's fine say you're grandad was an old Crafter and you've communed with the Anima Loci and she's accepted your offering, then excuse yourself, and launch into a deeply ceremonial rendition of the filthiest ballad you know, addressed earnestly to our grinning little lady's cnut.

Still "a few years back"? Does sound like you've developed a bit of an allergy there..