RICHARD
                                    (eyes glazed with lustful thoughts)
                  Are you kidding? I'd go for her even if she had a bag over her head!
                                     MICHAEL
                   You are such an unmitigated crap-moinger, I'm surprised your mother didn't throw you back in the cesspool.

                                     RICHARD
                   YEah, fuck you too, man. You just don't understand passion. It's part of life you will never get in touch with.

                                     MICHAEL
YEah, well, so is dysentery, but I ain't out begging for it like you are.
                     
                                     RICHARD
                     You effing dweeb. I bet your mother wears second-hand Goodwill panties.

                                     MICHAEL
                     
Great. I'm calling Heather. Two bucks says I get a date tonight with her.

Richard rolls his eyes, shakes his head, sighs.

                                    RICHARD
Yeah, right. I'll look for a noose on the door if you get lucky.