This morning on the motorway,
I looked over to my right and there was a
Woman

In a brand new VW !!


Doing 75Mph

With her face up

next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away

For a couple seconds

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily..

But she scared me so much

I dropped

My electric shaver,

Which knocked

The meat pie

Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying

To straighten out the car

Using my knees against

The steering wheel,

It knocked

My Mobile phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs,

Which splashed,

And burned

"Big Jim and the Twins",

Ruined the phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an

Important call.

BLOODY Women Drivers!!