Come gather around and I'll tell ye a tale.
A tale you won't soon forget
About a teeeenaged mother
and a bridge that she kept for a pet.

She was still a school age youngster
A young lass of barely thirteen
A gathering up the lint babies
And the straw boss was so very mean

So she found her self a young fellow
And he too was barely a pup
And I can't go into the details
But before long she was knocked up

A weight was gone from her shoulders
A burden released form her soul
She no longer had responsibility
She now could go on the dole

So she called up the estate agent
And picked out a wonderful home
The time she don't spend carousing in pubs
She spends talking on mobile phone

Except for Monday mornings
Which she spend there a waiting in line
Talking about the men that she knew
Causing her uncle to whine

About the horrible system
That supports his young niece in high style
And folks who appreciate irony
are somewhat inclined to smile

For a man who looks at his family
and says that the system is grim
Might want to show some gratitude
For at least there's no burden on him.

So all of you hard luck lassies
Who think that the school life is hard
Just think of the life of luxury
You could have with ten kids in the yards

All together now!!
Just think of the life of luxury
You will have with ten kids.......

In..... the .... yard.......