The brown mud balls, I think we all, from the first time we saw the words of Chongo all suspected that it would come down to brown mud balls. For a monkey of any size is never completely unarmed as long as he is not wearing pants. To find out why Chongo had no pants we must look in the other direction at Jake.

Jake carefully leveled his 457 Magnum centering the laser site on Chongo nose. "Do you feel lucky chimp?" He asked.
"No I don't." whimpered Chongo, oozing fear from every follicle of his straight black hair."
"In about ten seconds you'll be the main course across the street." Snarled Jake, over explaining like a hapless Bond villain."
"Can I have one last request? Can I die in my natural state? With no clothing?" Begged the shivering ape.
"OK but make it quick and no sudden moves!"
So Chongo quickly disrobed, in a smooth but not sudden manner.
Now people think that voiding one's digestive system in times of great danger to be a cowardly act. But Chongo thought of it merely as prudent self defense. In fact he had mastered the art of Kung Pooh while still at his mother's breast. In fact, it his rumoured that he threw his meconium at the midwife when she slapped him. Suffice it to say that if pooh flinging was a professional sport, he would hold all the records for volume, stickiness and accuracy, and for reasons to be explained later, stench.

Jake and Sham were immediately reduced to blinded, retching catatonic vegetables. Maybe it was the near death experience, maybe it was removing the human clothing, including the too tight briefs. Chongo scrambled up the girders of the el and started to scream in apeish triumph. He had reverted to a more natural state.

Across the street The Panda Expressly owner who was aiming a sniper rifle at Chongo with the Chef spotting for him wrinkled up his nose and said "What the 'ell is dat smell."
"Zut Allor! I donno!" said the Chef. "But dere is no way dat ting his gittin in my kitchen dead or alive!"

With the field of weirdness around Chongo diminishing long distorted pocket of reality were reverting to their true state. Sham went back to being Sam, fully clothed, dressed normally. The Keystone cops went back to being officer Laquisha Hernandez Ginsberg, who immediately went to the paddy wagon as it changed back into her police interceptor and radioed for backup.

The Panda Expressly went back to being just Panda Express, where if there is mystery meat. it is not advertised.

The pilot woke in London, having joined the RAF, but instead of fighting the kamikaze of the luftwaffe he would be dropping propaganda leaflets on Tripoli.

Michael joined the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints and married Heather and her mother in a joint ceremony. He later changed his name and is now running for the GOP presidential nomination.

Shane and Don returned to their point of origin.

The Fire department came and hosed down the victims of the "brown mud ball" attack. They hosed down Chongo from the girders and kept the hose on him until all the smell and all detectable traces of living as a human were swept down into the sewer. Jake was not so lucky someone had put a mask on him to "save" him but how were they to know that his proud Tom Selleck mustache would be his undoing.

It only took one person to put the straight jacket on Jake. It took 22 to subdue Chongo. Mostly because his arms were nearly as long as the sleeves and he kept undoing the knots with his prehensile feet. But once they put fireman's boots on him and duct taped them together, they finally got him under control.