Morwen and Q's, etc., discussions of calypso and mento reminded me of one of the notorious bawdy mentos.

NIGHT FOOD
Everard Williams, recorded in the mid-1950s.

I really thought that I was wise
Til a woman make me realize
That of the proper knowledge I was nude
For I did not know what them call "night food".

Rain begin to fall; the night was dark
On a lady's veranda I had to park
She come and say, "Why you stay outside,
When there is warmth and food inside?"

CHORUS:
I wonder what dem call this "night food"
I wonder if it is [/tastes] so good
Yes I want a lady now to tell me why
This "night food" is so very high.

I was so hungry and very cold
That once in my life I acted bold
I went right into the lady's room
But, sir, it nearly caused me doom.

She said, "Inside I have some nice night food
I hope you are in the eating mood"
This sounded to me now very strange
As she didn't visit the kitchen range.

[CHORUS]

The room went dark; she say, "Come and eat
This night food is very warm and sweet"
I said, "Lady, there's no knife and fork
And how can I eat food in de dark?"

She said, "This food needs no knife and fork
How can any human be so dark?
The food is right here in de bed;
Come ya, man, make me scratch you head."

[CHORUS]

I said, "Lady, please have me excuse
This 'night food' for me is really news
And I will not make you touch mi head
Sampson did that once, now he is dead."

She jump up and then turn on the light
An' say, "Half-a-man -- get out mi sight!
I can't stand a man who is so crude
That him don't know what dem call night food."

[CHORUS]
(Last time:) Now I know mi mama's then(?) won't think me rude
I'm going to ask her what dem call the night food.