There is definitely hope out there for you, IRNS. My niece has suffered similar things to yourself. After years of problems (including suicide attempts, and she's only twenty) she's got correct medication and professional support, and is feeling marvellous. She now has a steady boyfriend, and is on an even keel. She would have in the past said there was no hope, life wasn't worth it etc. So you too could be back on top soon. Please keep holding on to hope. You are in my thoughts. Eliza