Utah Phillips used to say that a panhandler needed a good 'gaff,' that the story the person told while asking for money, ought to be interesting and entertaining. I admit that if a person has an unusual or creative story, I'm much more likely to be generous.

Usually, I give through organizations, but I often give to panhandlers, too. Offering lodging is a real commitment. The local motels want me to sign a promise to pay for any damages - paying for a night's lodging isn't enough. I got a kick out of it when somebody I know brought a homeless couple over from another church, because "the Catholics will know how to handle it."

A mentally retarded woman I know, hit me up for money at the supermarket. Since I knew her, I gave her twenty bucks - and felt really good about myself for doing that. My friend Vera has a group home with five mentally retarded men, and Vera knows the woman. I got a good scolding from Vera, because Vera says the woman spends all her money on candy. Oh, well.

-Joe-