LAFF IT OFF!
Words and music by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
New York: Henry Waterson, ©1924.
As sung by Billy Jones & Ernest Hare (The Happiness Boys)

It doesn't pay to worry; it doesn't pay to fret.
If you lose or win, always wear a grin.
All you can get from worry is wrinkles on your brow.
We found a way to live long; let's tell the folks just how:

If your bankroll is bent, laugh it off.
When they call for the rent, laugh it off.
When a fellow borrows ten,
And you lend it to him when,
All you can do is whistle "Till We Meet Again."
If you feel on the bum, laugh it off.
If you're caught selling rum, laugh it off.
If your wifie runs away
And they bring her back next day,
Laugh it off, O brother, laugh it off.

If your new shoes are tight, laugh it off.
If your wife snores at night, laugh it off.
If someone tells you to go
Where there is no ice or snow,
Don't get excited, brother; you don't have to go.
If you're down in the dumps, laugh it off.
If your kids have the mumps, laugh it off.
If you're sick and Doctor Quack
Puts a plaster on your back,
Laugh it off, O brother, laugh it off.

No matter how it's breaking, don't let them see you frown.
If the road is rough, always throw a bluff.
If you wake up some morning with nothing in your purse,
Don't go around complaining; tomorrow may be worse.

If your hair's falling out, laugh it off.
If your wife's getting stout, laugh it off.
When the world looks black and blue,
Think of this because it's true:
Graveyards are full of guys who'd gladly change with you.
If you slip on a peel, laugh it off.
If you choke on a meal, laugh it off.
If the doctor says you're dead,
Never argue; keep your head.
Laugh it off, O brother, laugh it off.

If your gas bill is steep, laugh it off.
If you toss in your sleep, laugh it off.
If your car is out of gear
And you bump somebody's rear,
Phone your insurance man and sing "I'm Sorry, Dear."
If you lose at the track, laugh it off.
If you sit on a tack, laugh it off.
If you accident'ly trip
And break something on your hip,
Laugh it off, O brother, laugh it off.

If you ha-ha-ha-ha, laugh it off.
If you ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
If you ha-ha-ha-ha, laugh it off.
If you ha-ha-ha-ha, laugh it off.
Have your fun; don't be a dunce.
They can only kill you once.
Laugh it off, O brother, laugh it off.