Dave Goulder sang it this way:

Mary Ellen as the bride turned up
Her Ma turned up and her Pa turned up
Her auntie Gert and her rich Uncle Bert
And the Parson in his long white shirt turned up
But no bridegroom with the ring turned up
Until a little boy with his nose turned up
Brought a telegram that said the he didn't want to wed
So, they bunged him in the river with his nose turned up.