...Jon I want to add my thoughts here. I like and admire you a great deal and since you have brought the subject of your life up, I have something to say. It is unsolicited and you can tell me to go to hell, however; I think that if you are going to successfully work on your relatonship with God you must do it in a daily AA meeting. I don't think things will work well for you in your life until you get a handle on your drinking. And stop! Alcohol is your enemy at this point in your life. If you can sober up and take it one day at a time I believe the other things you want in life will fall into place for you. You are so smart and such a nice man but alcohol is going to kill you if you don't stop drinking. Lovingly, Abby