The real reason folks don't wanna mess with you, Bobert, is quite simple. It has to do with yer personal hygeine...the lack of it, that is. I won't go into the nasty details, but I think you know pretty well what I am talkin' about.

My suggestion: Build yerself a primitive shower still out back of the old shed. All ya really need is a bucket, a rope, and a beam to hang the bucket off of. For water you got the old pump in the backyard, next to the pig's feed trough. Cold water is good. It wakes you up and suppresses yer viler impulses. You will be amazed at how much better folks will like you if you just douse yerself good a couple times a week with fresh cold water...and use soap! If you don't know what "soap" is, well, it is sorta waxy lookin' stuff that comes in a small bar you can hold in your hand.

Heck, here is a video that should explain it all better than I can:

What soap is. And how to use it.

Watch it carefully. Ya gotta wait till about the 56 second mark before the part about usin' soap comes, okay? Some useful stuff in there about improvin' yer general lifestyle too.

- Chongo