Cowboy wisdom: Never squat with your spurs on.

Knew a guy once who said he'd had a hemmoroid operation and the doctor gave him some salve to use after he relieved himself. Got the call of nature late one night (woke him up) and after doing his business, in his bleary-eyed state, he reached behind him for the tube of salve that he'd left on the top of the toilet tank.

Got the Ben-Gay by mistake.

Woke up real fast!!

Don Firth