My friend Janet recently contacted AgeUK for some information, and the chap at the other end had to consult his computer. He kept saying "I'm terribly sorry but I just can't get it up...it's awfully slow today, it just won't come up..." She was soooo tempted to ask if he had any Viagra.
About the spam stuff, I keep mysteriously getting spam inviting me to find a naughty housewife to have an extra-marital affair with! As I'm female (and happily married as well) I wonder why I keep getting these. (About three or four every day!)