A CASKET IS A VERY USEFUL THING*

I'm afraid it is no rumour
that to maintain my daily humour
I sleep inside a casket, not a bed
Though my friends think it macabre;
makes their body fluids clabber
What care I what nasty things are said?

For this funural-y decor
my life style aids and succours
the versitility of a casket can't be beat!
Just choose your style and finish
(Wax, lacquer, paint or varnish)
and the end result is awesome, and so neat!

In my home you'll find a casket
standing duty as trash-basket
and my ice-box is a pine box! Yes, Indeed!
As a closet or a table
use a casket, if you're able
There's a casket for about just any need!

And tho my family mutters
about the casket clutter
I think we all should go through life, prepared!
If the morticians, they should strike
and someone's life should "take a hike"
I'll have a casket ready close at hand.

*think very gilbert and sullivan for tune, or Danny Kaye or tom Lehrer