Today went well. My port didn't want to work so they had to take blood from my arm. They tell me that I have a fibroid sheath on my port which is blocking the blood return. So...the remedy to this was simple. They left tubes and syringe hanging out of my chest/port after putting some kind of medicine in that was to break up the sheath. It takes 45 minutes to see if it worked so in the meantime, I saw my oncologist and the initial basic labwork was back and everything looked good. I won't know about my tumor markers until tomorrow. I am anxious about it but decided to talk to my doctor today about the big WHAT IF questions. What if it comes back? What would be the next step? How is it treated? What should I expect. He was absolutely straight forward and wonderful with me. I love him. I love him. I love him. He knows how to talk to me. After my appointment, I ran into my dear friend Tracy who was there to get her results from her tests last week and she invited me to sit in with her at her appointment (tubes still hanging out of my chest and all). I am THRILLED to tell you that she is GREAT and has NO sign of any kind of recurrance! Afterwards, I went to have my port tested and it worked like a charm!!! Next, I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch at the hospital. Her 3 year old is the PICU and has been for 5 weeks...it's not good. Because of the extra stuff I had to have done today I missed her but I was able to see her son. I gowned up and watched him sleeping very peacefully, said a prayer over him, wished I could hug and kiss him and left. Maybe I'll be able to see his beautiful eyes tomorrow after my next appointment.

I did some shopping and treated myself (really treated myself) to some new clothes. I'm tired of the Mommy look..the washed out, dressed badly, over tired woman woman in shorts and a tshirt. I feel like a girl for a change! Also, today was the first time I've been for a check up without my mom. She always comes along when I see the oncologist but wasn't able to today....so I treated myself for being able to go alone.

The manager of the House of Care has a friend coming over in about an hour and we are going to do yoga in front of a giant stone fireplace. I brought my mat and can't wait to be in bare feet and lose myself in my breath for a little bit.

I'm tired and stressed. Had myself a good cry. It's ok...I just needed to do it.

Moving on.

Love to all.

Michelle