Ah, yes Shimrod. I am most sorry to learn of your troubles, and am happy at your present situation as you describe it.

I know a bit about suicide; my first wife's death, when she couldn't bear the thought of 'what happens next' ~~ 'for better' in her case as it would just have been worse & worse degeneration as she had Parkinson's ~~ and my reaction to it, became something of a cause célèbre 3 years ago [google 'grosvenor myer suicide' if it is of interest and you haven't heard of it] & for a while, along with Debbie Purdy et al, I became something of an icon of the Assisted Suicide campaign ~ there was a Newsnight featuring interviews with her & me, tho we have never actually met. Things are better for me too; I am happily remarried - but I naturally continue to mourn the wife of that ½-century.