Guelph. It's in Ontario, and nobody's ever been able to come up with a town anthem that doesn't sound embarrassingly silly. Just say it: "Guelph" (GWELF) It sounds like a frog croaking.

I think Dildo, Newfoundland is the winner so far. After all, people do (more or less) speak English in Newfoundland, so that makes it a lot funnier than a town called Fucking, in Austria if you ask me. Dildo should erect a town monument, sort of like the Big Nickel in Sudbury, only considerably longer than it is wide....and maybe electrify it too, so that it vibrates in an enticing fashion.