The McBride family came over "on the boat" during the hard years of the Irish Potato Famine and have never looked back (well, maybe once or twice...) since. If they had looked back, they'd have seen an angry mob of creditors and disgruntled neighbours that they "borrowed" things from, plus probably a few Irish police officers.

The McBrides haled from the region around the Dingle Peninsula. They were famous in the area as drunkards, layabouts, and petty thieves blessed with an almost superhuman ability to avoid paying work and sidestep most forms of social responsibility. Due to the perenially roving eye and virtual unmarriageability of most of the McBride men, they fathered a very large number of children out of wedlock, so Shane has many relatives still living around the area of Dingle, most of whom are eager to deny any form of connection with him or his forbears and family name.

Having arrived in the new lands of North America in 1850 and settling in Nova Scotia, Shane's great grandfather decided to turn over a new leaf and started growing marijuana and selling it to the locals. At first this was a very small business which attracted little attention, so Shane's great grandfather was forced, much to his chagrin and shame, to accept normal work as a casual labourer, while abetting his meagre income with stolen horses, carriages, and light machinery. This led to an increasingly acrimonious relationship with the RCMP and the local police in Nova Scotia, eventually causing the McBride family to relocate to Blind River, Ontario. Shane's father, Sam McBride, started up a small marijuana grow-op in Blind River and eked out a precarious living by fencing stolen goods and forging checks.

Then the 60s came and all of a sudden Marijuana blossomed from being a minor cult phenomenon of a few jazz musicians to becoming a mainstream recreational drug embraced by an entire young generation!

The life of the McBride family was transformed. They could now afford takeout pizza at least 3 times a week, and the fridge was always full of Canadian beer. These were "the salad days".

It all went swimmingly until Shane's father fell asleep on the railroad tracks after an epic drinking session and got run over by a westbound train. They had to bury him in fifteen different pieces. The family was devastated.

But nothing can keep a McBride down forever. Shane and his brother Don swore on their father's grave (as well as pretty much everyplace else they went) that they would restore the "fambly fortune". This might sound difficult, but one should keep in mind that that would only require raising about $320. Within a year Shane and Don had built the marijuana business back up to the levels attained by their dad, and things were "lookin' good, eh?"

Then the cops ruined it all by busting the brothers and shutting down their grow-op! This led to a bitter vendetta between the McBride brothers and the police force which has persisted to this day, each determined to outlast the other and achieve final victory.

And there you have it. The glorious history of a proud Irish-Canadian family who have never forgotten their roots, never given up on their ideals, and never refused the challenges life has offered them.

Shane and Don McBride can be found today living in Blind River, often hanging out at the local Tim Hortons or the Iron Horse Tavern. They will sign autographs for free cigarettes or beer. They will accept friendly offers from single (or married) women with no strings attached. A book and movie deal is rumoured to be in the works as I speak, and the brothers will play themselves. Famed Hockey commentator Don Cherry will appear in a cameo role, as will a local police officer, the lovely Jennifer Dana. It's gonna be AWESOME!