LOVE AND MARRIAGE
As sung by Homer & Jethro

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
It's as hopeless as a horseless carriage.
Women like to pretend
It's a way to spend a weekend.

Love and marriage, you can't match it.
It's an itchin' though you just can't scratch it.
Don't you ever doubt it:
A fam'ly shouldn't be without it.

Old maids are man-haters, sad to relate it.
They don't have no man and that's why they hate it.

Marriage is an institution.
Don't like livin' in an institution.
Let me warn you, brother,
It just takes two
To hogtie you:
A young girl and an anxious mother.

One and one makes two, and if those two should ever marry,
Ain't it queer? Within a year, there's two an' one to carry.

Matrimony, matrimony,
It ain't nothin' but a lot o' baloney.
Cows give milk an' butter.
You can't have one,
You can't have none,
You can't have one without the udder.