Hmm. It's a pity that the festivals designed by our ancestors to lighten a time of terror and trial should in themselves be a terror and trial to so many.

One more for you. An Irish custom which is coming back is Nollaig na mBan - the Women's Christmas. This is on the old Christmas day, January 6, and it's a women's party with cakes and port wine and tea and sandwiches, which only women attend.

Traditionally in Ireland there were three Christmases: Nollaig na bFear, the men's Christmas, on Christmas Eve, when the men went out and around with their pals and had a few beers; Nollaig na bPaisti, the children's Christmas, on Christmas Day, when the children had their stockings with little presents, and people went to Mass or service and ate Christmas dinner (which in the islands of the west might have been a special dinner of smoked fish cooked in milk and onions, with floury potatoes), and Nollaig na mBan, when the women who'd done all the work got to have their own party together.

It's usually a great party, without any of the unhappiness brought by flirting and throwing shapes and so on. Port is traditionally drunk from china eggcups, but that's not necessary.