So, Rap, I see that you are spreadin' more of the usual lyin' crap that comes from my political enemies in the Big Two Parties. Who is payin' you off? Obama or the Republicans? Or both?

No matter. I have heard all this tired stuff before and I laugh at the simp fools who think such lies and innuendo will hold back the risin' tide of Primate Liberation. Yer days are nearin' their end, specist suckers! Wait and see. The APP is growin' by leaps and bounds as many humans abandon the old parties in disgust and line up alongside their ape, monkey, and lemur brothers in the APP.

Obama is clingin' to a very shaky and slippery grapevine that is due to break soon and plummet him into the depths of obscurity. The Republicans are wallowin' like obscene warthogs in the filthy mire of their own corruption, deceit, and duplicity. The sound of triumphant hooting will soon fill the corridors of power, shake yer windows, and rattle yer walls. The clarion call of "Kree-gah!!!" will sound out across the nation, sweepin' out the old, bringin' in the new and the Moronocracy will tremble.

Regardin' yer stupid allegations which don't really even deserve a reply:

1. Sold his mother and sister into a life of sexual slavery

Total and absolute nonsense. My saintly mother died in Africa many years ago, still livin' the natural life of the bush ape. I got two beloved sisters livin' in the USA, both employed and doin' fine, several other close relatives livin' in Africa, and one lunatic chimp proskirt who imagines bein' my sister livin' in Mexico and corruptin' the local populace from her house of shame. She is not my sister, she's a nutcase who is tryin' to cash in on my fame.

2. Has consistently lied about his "native-born American" status, even when the facts have been made evident to him and everyone

I wondered what those vague memories were that drew me to the USA at such an early age and caused me to leave Africa. Turns out that I was born in a USA compound in Africa and never even needed to go through immigration...but I didn't know at the time I came across to New York...so I went through immigration. These facts were recently revealed by independent investigators when my right to be a presidential candidate was questioned by folks who shoulda known better, but was paid to smear my good name.

3. Doesn't know a straight-blowback from a delayed-blowback weapon

Yeah, sure. Don't try to teach yer grandmother to suck eggs, Roscoe.

4. Totally ignorant of diplomacy, as evidenced by his violent past

I ain't ignorant of diplomacy...nor am I afraid to fight when there ain't no other possible choice. Them that are against me should remember that.

5. Entered the US disguised as a bunch of bananas

Ha! Ha! Oh, that is rich. ;-D That's a new one. Thanks for the belly laugh.

6. Wears a trilby and not a fedora

Trilbys, fedoras...either way is fine with me if it's a good quality hat.

7. Usually is behind in paying his just debts

There has been a smidgeon of truth to that from time to time. Makin' a livin' as a Primate Eye has its ups and downs, financially speakin'. However, I always have managed to meet my obligations in the final analysis.

8. Constantly drinks to excess, impairing what little judgement he has

Define "to excess"...

9. Has to use his feet to count above ten

Now you are gettin' really insultin'! Well, go right ahead. You are just collectin' more bad karma and your time to pay for it will come around, buster.

10. Cannot pass a simple history test without cheating

You got me confused here with somebody else...maybe one of yer kids.

11. See number 9.

Yeah, I already seen number 9. Like I said, yer time will come.

- Chongo