SLWRLW, my daughter, who is 14 too and I went to see Hair last week. I was thrown into a 30 year time warp, I found it very moving, and she came out of it saying, "So what's the big deal?".
"We use those words all the time now, and dress like that and everybody wears their hair how they want" -- hers is aqua and purple at the moment -- So like, duh, why all the fuss?
Then she got really annoyed with me on the way home when I kept trying to talk about it (you know how parents are? they just don't shut up when you really want them to? so you have to kind of freeze them out when you're stuck in a car with them?) By the time we got home, there were miles between us.
It was only the next morning, driving her to school, when I told her about my brother (her uncle)trying to decide whether to burn his draft card or flee to Canada, and how my father was furious that he wouldn't fight like a man, and how it tore us all up, fight in a war you believe is wrong, kill and get killed, or buck the whole social system,
and she turned to me and said, "You mean the government can do that? Make you go and kill other people? Make you go right from high school to learn to fight even if you don't want to?"
I said, "Yep." She said, "Boy, that sucks."
Her:"I'm sure glad I'm a girl."
Me:"Sweetie, that ain't gonna make any difference next time, so you better just hope and pray there ain't a next time."
Maybe you could get Catspaw to tell you a little more about what it feels like to be making those choices when you are just a little older.