Al - just to cheer you up, here are the lyrics to a song I wrote when a friend had to got to hospital for a colonoscopy. It's written from the viewpoint of the doctors and nurses who do these things - and sung to the tune of "In My Liverpool Home":

Sliding a tube up your bum.
Sliding a tube up your bum.
We've polished the tube with a nice greasy rag,
And slipped it in neatly, it won't start to drag,
But if it gets stuck, we'll nip out for a fag.
Sliding a tube up your bum.

Sliding a tube up your bum.
Sliding a tube up your bum.
You won't feel a thing 'cos you'll be fast asleep,
While up through your arsehole the camera will creep,
We'll switch on the TV and all take a peep.
Sliding a tube up your bum.

Sliding a tube up your bum.
Sliding a tube up your bum.
We sing as we work for we don't have a care,
We slip through the cheeks and we comb back the hair,
And then we take bets on what we'll find there.
Sliding a tube up your bum.

Sliding a tube up your bum.
Sliding a tube up your bum.
Threading our way through the maze, we get through it,
We don't mind the piles and we don't mind the poo - it's
A dirty old job but someone's got to do it.
Sliding a tube up your bum.